Could It Be?

Our toes are painted-although our legs are white...We can finally see our shadows-although it's still only 50 degrees...

Tomorrow will be March...

Spring is that you?

Please hurry!

Another Blanket Intervention

As you know, one of my fears of leaving the girls was that they would learn a new trick while I was gone. I was mostly thinking of Gwen, since she is learning something new everyday. Well, my fear was met. She learned a few new things. One, she learned about 1,000 more words. She's been saying things for quite some time, but I was not prepared to come home to a little girl with 10x her old vocabulary. She has turned into a little parrot and repeats everything you say...at least the last word. I'll say, "Gwen should we eat pancakes?" She repeats "pencake." "Give Grandma a hug." She follows up with "hug." She learned to say my sister's dog's name, "a Mike-al." She says, "meow, hot dog, funny, Dax, Kylee, baby, outside, milk, wave, bath, wet, bite..." So many one word sentences. I still can't believe that she is already communicating so well.

The second thing she learned is that her blanket is special. I've posted before about my girls and their blankets. How I have to keep them in their beds or they'll walk around sucking their thumbs. Gabriella would run back to her room and suck her thumb with the blanket pulled half way through her crib...you know, get a little hit of the blanket and be happy for awhile. Well, somehow while I was gone, Gwen fell in love with her blanket and wants it all the time. I can't help but think since one of the two consistent things in her life was gone, me, she bonded with the only other consistent thing, her blanket. She doesn't want to let her blanket go when I go in and get her from her crib. Usually she stands with her arms extended when she wakes up, waiting for me to get her. Now, she stands in the back corner of her crib, holding, with white fists, onto her blanket as she calls for me...knowing I'll make her drop the blanket before I pick her up.

I have found her crying in her room trying to get to her blanket in her crib. I'll walk in and she'll be pulling on her blanket through the slats of her crib, leaning way, way back, like the last person in a tug of war, grunting will all her might to free her blanket from it's cage. Gabriella will come in and rescue the blanket for her and they'll go skipping out of the room happy as clams.

Well, yesterday, I didn't hear any screaming or crying to free her blanket. I just saw Gwen coming down the hall with a death grip on the blanket bundled in her arms, with Gabriella trailing not far behind, with her blanket. I said to Gwen, "How did you get that blanket?" looking straight at Gabriella. Gwen said, "blinkit...happy."

I guess I will have to plan another blanket intervention. It looks like it will be a little harder with this one, since we have the dealer (a.k.a Gabriella) living in the house.

Hawaii

Hawaii. Ah Hawaii. What is there to say about a perfect, relaxing, almost free trip to Hawaii? We found out a few months back that Joe would be attending a conference at the Hawaiian Hilton for 4 days. Throw in two travel days, his plane ticket, a free hotel room, and per diem for food and he was on his way. He called when it was finally official-official that he was going and said two words to me, "tax return." That's all it took for me to book myself a ticket and meet him there.

My mom has been saying that she would watch the girls for us so that we could go on a little trip. I called her up, and as luck would have it, she was going to be watching my sisters 2 1/2 and 1 year old that same weekend. She thought about it and said it could still work. So the girls and jumped before she changed her mind. My mom and dad are such troopers...4 kids under 3, are you kidding me? But of course, my girls were in heaven and loved, loved, loved playing with grandma and grandpa and ALL their cousins. My mom said Gabs would wake up in the mornings and say, "which friends house are we going to today?" She hasn't stopped talking about each of her cousins. Boy, does that make it ever hard to live so far away! Each of my sisters did so much to help out while I was gone. So to you, I say thank you! And mom and dad, we will forever be grateful! Thank you, thank you!

Joe and I haven't had a trip like this ever, just the two of us. It was wonderful! We spent hours and hours on the beach. We ate out every meal. We walked all over Honolulu. We watched a sand soccer tournament on Waikiki. We watched professional body boarders compete at Pipeline. We visited the Temple and Visitors Center (a one of a kind visitors center by the way, well worth the visit!) We layed on the sand and soaked up all the sun we could handle. We went out on a catamaran and went snorkeling with the biggest turtles ever! We watched the sun set. We ate shrimp from parked vans on North Shore. We shopped for souvenirs. We bobbed in the ocean outside our hotel. We walked along the sand holding hands. We missed our girls. Oh, and Joe attended the conference...well most of the days, anyway.

I told Joe we needed to do this every four years. What a treat it was to be together and away from our everyday responsibilities. Totally worth that tax return!

My Identity

Growing up I was identified by things I was proud of. As a little girl I was mostly known as "one of the twins." It never bothered me that no one knew which one I was. No one could guess my name until we were forced to smile and my big gap teeth gave away my identity. Being a twin is the best, even if I was known as "twinie" or "one of the Kreipl twins" or "the evil twin." I even sported a shirt that read "I'm the evil twin" one year for Halloween while carrying a pitchfork and wearing horns, while Bryn carried around a wand and wore a halo and a shirt that read "I'm the good twin." I was okay with the fact that my identity revolved around someone exactly like me, in fact I felt pretty lucky.

As I grew up, it seemed my identity had a lot to do with being skinny, or a stick, or a bean pole. I was known for playing softball, and being from Huntington Beach. After I got married and moved to St. Louis it seemed at church I was identified as the newlywed with no children. At school and work I was the crazy, barely 20 year old who was married. I knew that all these things identified me, but I never really thought that much about my identity.

Then, last Thursday I lost my identity. I was standing in line at the airport at the security check point, and I was all alone. My girls weren't with me and I felt lost. I'm tearing up just remembering that feeling. I was just another lady in line, carry nothing but a purse.
I didn't have Gwen in one arm, and her car seat in another. I didn't have my camera across my back in a back pack or a big diaper bag filled to the rim with treats, books and toys. Gabriella wasn't holding onto my pant leg while she pulled along her much too heavy Dora backpack filled with the DVD player and polly pockets. No one was starring at me like I was crazy. I was just another person at the airport.

A realization came flooding over me that, today, my identity is those two little girls. At that moment, without them, I felt sad, lonely, lost and bored. I couldn't control my emotions and I started to cry for the second time after saying goodnight to them the night before. Then people were staring, but all for the wrong reasons.

When I got to my gate, I sat down and saw a young mother with two little boys about the same ages as my girls. I cried again, and called Joe. He laughed at me, and told me I would be okay, but I think I heard him sniffle right along with me. Really, I felt sick to my stomach. Not because I was worried about them, but because I didn't know how to be without them. I am a mom. And a mom can't be a mom without her babies.

I found myself the entire time wanting to hold every baby I saw. I even picked a spot on the beach one night as close to a family-without looking suspicious- with two little kids, hoping, praying that their 18 monthish little girl would come over and want to play with me. Every chance I got, I would tell perfect strangers that I was a mother who had just left her girls for the first time. I caught myself starring at families at restaurants. I smiled at every little child throwing a tantrum and waved at all the little ones being pushed along in strollers down the beach walk. I'm pretty sure people again started to stare, but again, for all the wrong reasons.
I must say, I didn't cry again until the day before we left. After I talked to Gabs on the phone I hung up and told Joe the trip was one day too long. I was done. I missed my girls and I was ready to be "mom" again.

No, I didn't have my babies with me, but with or without them will always be mom. That is the one identity I never want to lose, one I am more proud of than anything in my life. I am a mom. That's my identity, and I couldn't be happier.

**Having said all that, and sounding perfectly unstable and like a complete basket case, our trip to Hawaii was heavenly and beyond perfect. I don't know when Joe and I will have time like that again to spend together, alone and in paradise. Everything about the trip was absolutely surreal and refreshing...except for the one day too long thing, but that didn't detract from the fun we had! It was so wonderful to spend quality time like that with my husband after 7 years of busyness. I won't want to leave my girls again anytime soon (except for a week in May when we have another childless trip planned-I know, we're crazy) but I would recommend it to anyone. What a burst of energy I feel about life right now! I feel good, but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that I saw the sun for 6 days straight. It was glorious. I will post some highlights when we get back from Arizona and I get reunited with my camera.

It's Official

I am freaking out!

Tomorrow the girls and I are off to Arizona, where I will leave them with their Grandma and Grandpa for 6 days. Holy Cow! What am I doing? I am freaking out!

I've left the girls once before for a whirlwind, whopping 50 something hour girls weekend in Arizona. And, they were here with Joe. With their dad. In their own home. In their own beds. In their own rainy, gloomy environment. This time around, they'll be with my mom and dad. In a house they only visit once a year filled with glorious toys. In beds that are twice the size of theirs here at home. And they'll be in sunny, 74 degree weather. How will they ever survive?

I know I'm crazy for worrying, but how can a mother not? I don't even know what it is I'm so worried about. It's everything I guess. I'm worried they'll think I've left them. I'm worried they won't sleep well at night. I'm worried they'll get hurt. I'm worried they'll learn some new trick while I'm gone and I'll miss it. I'm worried they'll have the times of their lives with every single one of their cousins and never want to come home with me again. I'm worried that they won't even miss me for a second. I'm worried that I won't have any fun, because I'll be missing them so terribly.

I can hardly stand the thought of leaving. I have sat here all day fighting these emotions that have been right on the surface. I haven't even started packing. I am in complete denial. I can't even spend an afternoon away from these two rag-a-muffins without trying to rush things along so I can get home to them.

I know it's a normal thing to do...to leave your little ones to enjoy some alone time with your spouse. But the thought of it and anticipation of it is killing me. I feel so grateful that Joe and I have family willing to do this gigantic favor for us. I can't wait to meet up with Joe for a lovely vacation, but at the moment, I actually can wait. Right now, I'm only worried about my girls. I must be crazy!

But the tickets are bought and paid for, so we're going. It's official. And I am officially freaking out.

I'm going to miss you crazy girls ...please still love me when I return!

First Date

Last night Gabriella went on her first date ever. She and Joe attended the Daddy-Daughter Valentine Dance. Our HOA puts on this dance every year, and let me just say, I know now where all our monthly fees go. This was quite the event.

The theme for the evening was a 50's Sock Hop. I finally broke down and let Gabs get into her "party dress"...a.k.a. poodle skirt...at about 2:30. She was so excited to go. Each night for the past week, her prayers have included praying that the next day would be the day she got to go dancing with her daddy. We fueled the fire by taking a million pictures, teaching her dance moves, applying lip stick, applying more lip stick and then finally Joe got dressed and they were ready to go.

The dance was held at the school near by and they were allowing moms to come take pictures for the first 30 minutes. We arrived and were handed a menu of food that was there: mini cheeseburgers, onion rings, glass bottled coke, chocolate milk shakes, and french fries. Each table was decorated with a theme, Gabriella and friends were at the cotton candy table. I saw a bubble gum table, an Elvis table and a flavored soda table. Ballons were everywhere. And then, of course, the dance floor. Gabriella couldn't wait to get dancing. She drug Joe out there and started shaking it like you wouldn't believe. It was so fun to see her so care free and loving every minute of it. She has some moves!!

Gwen and I took some pictures and said good-bye. When Joe and Gabriella got home, they filled me in on the rest of the night. There was a special guest apperance by Elvis! This past summer I posted about my favorite water community which has concerts during the summer. I mentioned one where we went and saw Elvis. Well, this same Elvis was at the dance last night and Joe said he was just as amazing as he was last summer. He said it was hilarious because all the little girls were screaming and yelling and trying to grab his hands and they were pulling at his clothes, just like they were groupies. When he got off the stage to walk around, there was a huddle of screaming girls swarming him...Gabriella included. She was up front and center, loving it. I wish I could have been there, but then again it wouldn't have been a date.

It was so so sweet watching her dance with Joe and just being the happiest little girl ever. I wish all her dates could be with someone that loves her as much as her daddy

Thankfully, we have 13 more years before her other First Date!

Volume Control

There is none. There is no such thing as volume control in this house.

I'm pretty positive that my little girls can generate more volume than any other children on the planet! I remember when Gabs was about 18 months telling my mom that she was so loud. She chattered loudly. She cried loudly. She laughed loudly. She screamed loudly. She did everything so loudly. My mom would tell me, "She's just a little baby. All babies are loud." That's what she told me...until we went and visited her. Then she told me I was right. Gabriella was loud.

She still is. Now it just makes sense. Her loud chatters are now loud pretend play. Or loud requests for a snack. Her loud crying is now loud, dramatic crying. Her loud laugh is now mostly just loud fake laughing at something she made up, that the rest of us didn't get at all. And her loud screams are now ear-peircing, highest frequency imaginable, as girly as you can get, running from one end of the house to the other end loud screams.

And Gwen is quickly learning from the best. She is making a respectable run for the loudest member of the family. She holds her own when it comes to generating noise. Luckily for me, right now it doesn't make sense, but none the less, her opinion is loud and clear.

Just when I think I've reached my limit of loudness and noise in a day, Joe gets home and the girls volume increases by 100 decibels. The loud laughing and screaming get even louder but include a 31 year old male now. It's obviously a Chiara trait...anyone who knows Joe knows he doesn't have a quiet bone in him.

When we were first married I remember looking at him in Sacrament meeting while we were singing hymns, awed at how loudly he was singing. I would try to tilt the hymn book so he couldn't see the words...maybe that would quiet him down. I was just so embarressed. Not because he was a bad singer, he's actually a very good singer. But because you just never want to be the guy (or girl sitting next to the guy) that's singing the loudest in Sacrament meeting. It's just so embarrassing.

It was a running joke for awhile. We'd be singing and I would think it was getting a little out of control, a little too loud, so I'd start to slowly tilt the book away from him. Then we would look at each other and I'd laugh and he'd pretend to be offended but he'd just start singing louder. It was always so funny.

Then he shared a story with me from when he was a little boy about Gabriella's age (3 or 4). He was singing in Sacrament meeting and his dad told him to stop singing because it was too loud and too out of tune. A poor little 3 or 4 year old! He has forever been scarred.

Gabriella is a singer. She always has been. She loves singing the Beach Boys, Sloop John B, and she sings along with the Wicked soundtrack. She is always wanting me to sing her anything and, over and over again. She loves to make songs up. Oh, and she sings so so loudly!

I will always remember that Joe never forgot about being told to "sshhh" while singing nearly 30 years ago, so I have never told Gabs to quiet down while she's belting a tune. While at church on Sunday a handful of people told me what a good singer she had been in Primary and how well she can sing. They were suprised with how well they could hear this little Sunbeam singing voice, suprised at how loud she was.

Me, not so much suprised with the whole volume thing. That's my Gabriella, she's a Chiara, a product of her Daddy!

Mondays

These are the faces of little girls who know it's no longer the weekend. If you were to take a picture of me, and trust me, it wouldn't be pretty, that would be my expression too. Mondays are not usually so much fun.

I made a decision when I became a mom that Monday's would be my cleaning day. Laundry, bathrooms, kitchen, floors, etc., etc., etc. Mondays is a day that we usually don't leave the house, except if I have to go to the supermarket, or post office, or maybe if I get a lot done during the day, we'll head down to the library in the late afternoon before Joe gets home.

Today, was no different than all the other Mondays. This place is a disaster! Look at that mess! I have an extremely hard time cleaning and keeping things in order over the weekend. I would much rather spend time doing things with the family and running around town, than making sure the beds are made and the toys are put away. Plus, I like to have a clean house when Joe walks in the door at night, but when he's here all weekend, who am I cleaning for? He's already here, he's seen the place a mess. No sense picking it up now, right?

I really don't mind too much though. The weekends have been fun with a daddy to do things with! On Saturday we went up to Seattle. We ate fish and chips on the water at our favorite waterfront place, ironically called "Fish and Chips". Then we went to the Seattle Aqurium. Here, we've been in Washingotn 2 1/2 years and had never gone to the Aquarium. There is so much that we haven't done yet in this great place. I started to think about the idea of being a tourist in our own backyard. I really am afraid that we are going to miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities up here, if we don't take advantage now. So, I'm starting a list of all the things that we want to do before we leave Washington. Please feel free to add any "must-do's" if you feel I've missed any...

- Seattle Science Museum

- Tacoma Art Museum

- By Plane ride over Seattle

- Weekend in Whistler Canada

- Tulip Festival (again)

- Take the Duck Tour of Seattle (I've always wanted to go on a duck tour)

- Take the paddle boats from Alki beach to piers

- Take a harbor cruise through the ritsy waterfront communities along Lake Washington

- Go to the BYU vs. Washington football game

- See a broadway show in Seattle

- Visit Whidby Island

- Go on the underground tour of Seattle

I can't think of any more off the top of my head. But in the mean time, I'm just going to continue cleaning until next weekend when I take a few days off to do some of the things on our list. As for the girls, they'll continue to play in the colored rice we made, therefore making it so that I will never have a clean house! As long as their happy, right? Happy Monday to all, I hope you're having more fun than me!

UPDATE: Gabs just asked if I could play with her. I said "Sure, who should clean the house?" She sat and thought for a second, "Ummm, how about Goldilocks?" I think that is the best idea ever...anybody know where I can find Goldilocks so I can go play with this ho-hum, bored Gabriella?