No More Excuses

I make a lot of excuses. It's one excuse after another. There really is no excuse though. Because my kids won't care about excuses. They won't care that my hair wasn't curled to perfection or that it was in a bun again straight out of the shower. They won't care that I was wearing exercise pants. Or that I wasn't wearing makeup to cover my childhood freckles. My kids will not care if the house behind me is a mess. They won't care that I was pregnant. They really won't care about any of those excuses if it means not having pictures of me. They won't care, because they will want pictures of me. Plain and simple. They will. And they deserve it.

I had an epiphany the other day. I was looking at the pictures I took last week of the kids wrestling with Joe and I loved seeing them all together. But I was missing from those pictures. I really do love looking back at all the pictures I take. It's wonderful to see how the kids once were and how they've changed. I love seeing the pictures of them crying and throwing a tantrum. Or pictures of them sleeping or cuddling with one another. I particularly love the pictures that include Joe and his interactions with the kids. Pictures, to me, are something priceless. I wouldn't trade the pictures I have of my family for anything in the world. Never. But, at the same time, by taking all the pictures, I can't be in them. Which is typically fine by me. But when I saw that picture of Joe laying on the floor and all our kids with him, it made me a little sad. Because I would have liked to have been in those pictures as well. And I think my kids will want to see me in pictures too. I know they will actually.

So I need to stop making excuses. My camera has a self timer. Gabs weighs almost enough to hold it up. I have mirrors. I can get over the fact that I won't look "picture perfect" all the time. Sure, the pictures will be a little more contrived and less spontaneous when I have to stop and grab the camera myself to get a picture of me in the picture, but my kids won't care about that either. They will be happy to have pictures of me, just as I am happy to have pictures of them.

It's time I stop making excuses and try to be in more pictures. I know my children will appreciate it.

I Am...

a referee. a rule enforcer. a pet owner to little kids acting as puppies. a maid. a teacher. a playdate. a chef. a wife. a photographer in training. a chauffeur. a grocery getter. a sister. a musician who can't play a darn thing but must when my girls need a beat to dance to. a twin. a money manager. a dishwasher. a Pippi Longstocking reader by night. a lunch packer. a laundry mat who doesn't collect any quarters-darn it. a friend. a compulsive organizer. a pretty good basketball player on Henry's little hoop. a riot. a positive thinker. a sewer.

I had to fill out a form for our new car (guess what we got) and I stared at that line next to "occupation". I usually leave that line blank. But I really hate that line. I could fill it in with any of the above and it'd be true, especially that part about being a riot, but I choose to just skip right over it. I skip over it, because I don't know what to put there. How do I summarize what I do everyday into an occupation title? What I do is the most important job there is. Yet, I still leave that lousy little line blank. Then I let it bug me forever that I didn't fill it in. So, from here on out, I'm filling that line in. It will read "I am a mother" from now on. And I am proud of that.

Post-edit note: I came back and re-read this post. I asked Joe how to spell "sew-er" (as in seamstress-but that sounds too professional. I'm just a sew-er.) Well, he told me. I said, "Doesn't that spell sewer though?" Yes, yes it does. But in this case both apply. I am a sew-er. And a sewer-someone who carries waste matter for dumping. Yes. That is me too. I'm up to my elbows in sewerness.

FYI

Sitting at the computer again feeding William. It's quiet in my house. My thoughts are, "My life is good." It's peaceful right now. I like when I have time to think and reflect.

Last night Joe got called in. I have a hard time going to sleep when he's not here, so I spent about two hours reading my blog. I got all the way back to 2009 before Joe walked in the door at 11:45 pm. It was nice to do...a little sad that my children are growing and time goes by way too fast, but it was nice to do nonetheless. I am so happy to have this here blog to record my life. I had already forgotten half the things I wrote about. My kids won't remember any of these things I'm sure. I told Joe for the millionth time that I need to make a blog book. I need the things I've been writing about preserved for my children. It's very important to me that they have this. I know I'm repeating myself, but the only reason I blog is so my children will have these stories. I don't blog for any other purpose. Sure, it started out as a way to reach long lost friends and to make it easy to share pictures with my family. But along the way, it turned into something far more important. It's for me still, in a way, but it's more than that. It's something I want for my children. I think about them reading these stories some day and it makes me happy that they will have them, because I know it will make them happy. This blog is nothing more than a personal history. A Journal. I don't blog for the comments, or so I can brag. It's not to create situations just so I can blog about them or so I can present myself as being something other than the true, real mom than I am. It's simply my way of leaving a tangible, piece of who I am with my children forever. I think it's a gift they'll appreciate. I know it's the ordinary memories they'll love to hear about, so here children, are the mundane things going on in our home these days...

-We can't wait to watch the no 3. seed BYU basketball team play tonight. Dad is on pins and needles and stopped eating days ago he's so anxious.

-William is still sleeping in our closet. After he gets over being sick, we're putting him in with Henry. The crib is up and waiting. I hope Henry is a good roommate, but I'm scared.

-Went and test drove the Honda Odyssey last night. Liked it a lot. Not sure what we'll get though.

-Enjoyed watching the girls discover that a leprechaun was obviously in their room last night and made a mess of everything.

-I'm reading a chapter from Pippi Longstocking to the girls every night. I love sitting with my children and reading to them. I love that they sit still and stare off into space, while they imagine the words I am reading.

-I took William to the doctors today for his 4 month visit. He's 50th percentile for weight, 60th for height and 80th for head circumference. Standard for Chiara children.

-Joe ordered Insanity and we'll be starting up our next phase of working out come Monday morning at 5:45am. Wish us luck.

-Gwen is obsessed with all things tiny. She says every day that she wishes she was a tiny...(fill in the blank with any animal) The pictures she colors and cuts out are the size of my thumb. She only plays with the littlest toys we have and is constantly trying to find them because they are always lost.

-For the first time in our marriage, we'll be purchasing bedroom furniture. Can't wait to upgrade from the full bed we've had for 10 years. A queen will feel so roomy.

-Right now, Gabs won't wear anything but skinny jeans. And boy does she ever look skinny minny in them. It's adorable.

-We love eating Smash Burger. It's all of our favorites. Soo good.

-Lately the weather has been fantastic and all the neighborhood kids congregate at our house to play basketball with Joe's new hoop from Christmas. He loves playing outside and being the "neighborhood dad." He's such a kid at heart.

-Currently, the girls are still only interested in Polly Pockets and Pet Shops. Not much has changed in the last few years in that department. Henry is loving his cab, firetruck, and double decker bus I recently gave him from my trip to New York last year.

-Waiting and waiting for us to finally bite the bullet and get a bigger car. Because once we get a bigger car we can finally get a double stroller to fit in our car. I might be more excited that I can finally go places with William and Henry in a stroller than the actual car. Any suggestions on a stroller? Seriously, I need a good one!

-Henry is still super in love with Baby Cakes. And so protective. I had to step back the other day when I was taking pictures of William just to get a picture of the "big picture." Henry was so very concerned when he saw William's shirt on the couch and that he didn't have it on. He was desperate to get him fully dressed ASAP.

That's life as we know it right now. It's a good one.

Hank 2.0

We just celebrated Henry's 2nd birthday. Oh man do I love this boy. All 2 years and 35 pounds of that crazy kid. If I had to pick one word to describe Henry at 2 years old, it would be "obsessed." There are just some things that he has to have. Here are some of his current obsessions...

-Eating chicken with ranch. And lots of it.

-Watching "pat pat" (Little Einsteins) after breakfast.

-Wearing his hat just like Joe wears his red St. Louis hat.

-Vacuuming. He literally screams his head off if you pull the vacuum out and he doesn't get a chance to push it into walls and table legs.

-Eating and eating and eating craisins.

-Putting the clothes from the laundry room, whether they are clean or dirty, in the washer and pushing buttons until the washer starts. So helpful.

-Wearing his swimsuit in the tub. I should have never gotten that started that one snowy January day.

-Milk. Enough said. He only drinks milk. And only eats craisins. Luckily they balance eachother out and the diapers remain normal. Somehow the lack of food doesn't compromise his tank sized physique.

-Helping himself to the cold cereal in the pantry. Whenever he wants.

-Yelling his version of, "girls, time to eat" from the top of the stairs when he sees me setting the table.

-Wearing his church clothes everyday. Seriously. He wants them on everyday because he thinks if he has his church clothes on he'll be seeing his BFF Jack. Major tantrum if I come near him with sweats. So he looks pretty preppy all the time.

-Mickey Mouse. Other than his blanket, it's the only thing he isn't going to share. Oh and his John Deer tractor. He won't share that either.

-Grandpa.

-Buckling his own car seat buckle even though he has never successfully done it on his own. Still, he throws a fit when I finally do it for him because it's time to go.

-Fake burping and saying "xuse you." And laughing.

He most certainly keeps us laughing. Love you baby Hank. Happy Birthday.

The Great Debate

love this picture of william and henry. my view from the kitchen. classic scene from my house while i make dinner.

Our family of six barely fits into our seven passenger vehicle. Which, by the way, they're stretching it when they say it seats seven. Really, it's a five seater that has two seats in the back that munchkins can fit into. Or children under 6. And when you are driving around those extra munchkins you've totally eliminated the space you once had for strollers or groceries. It clearly doesn't work.

Our second car bit the dust months ago. The only reason we still drive it (and by that I mean, Joe) is in hopes that it will catch on fire and we can get some money out of it. So far no fire.

We need a new car.

And when you have a family our size that will continue to grow, there are really only two options.

Mini Van. Or Suburban.

Let the debate begin.

Where There's A Will...

There IS a way.

Ever since Gabs was a tiny thing, she has sucked her thumb. And every time I saw her doing it, even as a tiny thing, I pulled her thumb right out of her mouth. So she learned from an early age not to suck her thumb while watching TV or sitting in the stroller, etc., because I never allowed it. But, I wasn't there to pull her thumb out of her mouth at night. Blah blah blah. You know the story. She, of course, grew a terrible habit of sucking her thumb at night, with her special blanket. This has gone on for years. And it had to stop.

Problem is though, I couldn't be sure if she really did still suck her thumb at night. I'm not there, so I had no idea. Then we went to Arizona. One morning early, she climbed into bed with us and for sure she sucks her thumb. Not all night. Just when she is trying to stay asleep. Anyway, the girl is six. Time for an intervention.

We've wondered how to go about breaking this habit of hers for years. Take her blanket away (the accomplice in this whole thing), put spicy stuff on her thumb, cut her hand off...but I felt like she would have a hard time with those ideas (especially the no hand thing).

Then I remembered a genius friend in medical school who had her son wear mittens during the day to keep him from biting his nails. I searched high and low for some non snow glove mittens in the house and told Gabs that we were going to do an experiment. She was to put the gloves on at night before bed and when she woke up in the morning, she still needed to have the gloves on. If she did, then we could be sure she didn't suck her thumb. And, she was to tell me if she tasted her gloves during the night, because that meant she was trying to suck her thumb. She was very excited. She has told me in the past that she tries not to suck her thumb at night, but somehow "it just appears" in her mouth in the morning. Cute girl. I know she wasn't doing it consciously. She really did want to not suck her thumb. I know it embarrassed her.

Well, miracle of miracles, she has woken up every morning wearing those ratty gloves when she comes in our room first thing. She wears a big smile on her face and is so proud. She can't wait to go to the dentist next month and tell him she doesn't suck her thumb anymore. She's so excited. I'm sure that won't last long though, because I'm pretty confident she'll need braces for the next 12 years to fix her cross bite. Rats.

So, mittens folks. That's the trick. Too bad they won't work for a screaming two year old.

Old Wives' Tale

I called Joe on Tuesday to tell him William had rolled over for the first time. And he actually did it twice in a row, rolling once to his left, then immediately rolling to his right when put back on his tummy again.

That night, when he came home from work, he shared with me something his Tech told him. She said her Grandma would always say when a baby rolled over early it meant they were making room for another.

Um...oh dear me, please no, not yet.

I actually think it means he is learning early to stay out of the way of a particular somebody.

Hide And Seek

Not to mention, I found him by following the sound of the not-so-quiet giggles coming from behind those clothes.

Bampa

We don't understand a lot of the things that come out of Henry's mouth. But one word is crystal clear- "Bampa". We've been so lucky the last few months to see my parents a lot. They came when William was born. Then again a few weeks ago for his blessing. And we just returned from a break from our winter weather where we stayed in Arizona with my parents for 10 days.

Most of the time I feel bad that my children don't get to see their grandparents as often as their cousins. They have missed out on quite a bit by not living near them. My parents are always doing such fun things with the grandkids. They show up to nearly all the sporting events and school functions the grandkids participate in. They spend so much time with each of them. I'm always worried that they don't "know" my kids as well as the others because we don't have them here for all of our doings.

But the truth is, they do know my kids. In fact, we have a little something special that is unique to just our family. Because when my parents come to visit us, or when we visit them, we stay with one another. My parents get to be with us every second of the day. They know our exact routine in the mornings and exactly what we do before getting the kids in bed at night. They really do "know" each of my children and their personalities.

And one thing is for sure...my kids still adore their grandparents. Henry is my dads number one fan. He is always asking "where's bampa?" with his cute little hands in the air like he's looking for something. My dad calls him Hankman and can count on Henry follow him around like a little puppy dog whenever they are together. It's the cutest thing. I don't know how it happened, but these two have a bond like I've never seen before. Henry, who pretty much likes only me, would be perfectly content replacing me for him. My dad eats it up.

Yesterday when we got home and walked into our house Henry asked about two steps in, "where's bampa?" It stinks not knowing when we'll be together again. It makes saying goodbye really tough. But whether we're near or far, I'm truly grateful for great grandparents. And for Skype.

I hope you're home tonight dad, Hankman will be calling.