St. Louis

For memorial weekend we headed out of town to St. Louis. We picked up my parents in Kansas City on the way and enjoyed 4 days visiting our old stomping grounds. We had a great time driving through the city remembering all our memories. It was fun to go eat at our favorite places, see our old apartments and visit our favorite places. What was even more fun was that instead of doing it with just the two of us, like we did so many years ago, we had our children in tow. And that made it great.

I spent the weekend thinking about if we were to move back there now, how different it would be. Yes, we would be in the same city, but everything would be so different. Instead of being 20, like I was when we moved there, I would be 30. Instead of being a newlywed, I would be a mother of 4. Instead of working and graduating college, I would be a stay at home mom. Instead of Joe being in medical school, he would be a working physician. Instead of living in lower income housing, we would maybe own one of those beautiful old homes with original hardwood floors that I loved so much. Instead of being homesick and shy for the first year I lived out there, I would be more confident and invite friends over for dinner. Instead of being cheap and poor, I would buy those U2 concert tickets (biggest regret of my life to date.)

I spent those days in St. Louis really nostalgic for the life we once had. I loved our 4 years in St. Louis. I wish we could go back and do it all over again. Not start over, but repeat it and enjoy it just as we did the first time. I wouldn't change anything (except maybe the shy thing), I just want to enjoy it again, because life has gone on too quickly since then.

But the truth is, even if we did move back to St. Louis, we could never duplicate what it once was to us. Because we are different. Our experiences would not be what they once were. Because we are different. We can't repeat the past. St. Louis was perfect for us for that season of our lives. It was a stepping stone that lead us to where we have gone since and where we are now. It is a place I feel I grew the most I have ever grown. But the past is the past. And I am grateful for it, but where we are now, is where I want to be. I'm grateful to know that there is purpose in everything and I have so much more growing and knowledge to gain here to add to what I feel I already learned here in Kansas. I am truly blessed. Thank you St. Louis for reminding me of that!