Date Night

The last date Joe and I went on without children was over a year ago when we left Washington and meet up with some friends for dinner. I can't even remember before that when the last time was that just Joe and I went out, just the two of us. Far too long ago to say the least. In December William joined us in celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary at a super fancy restaurant. He slept in his car seat and never made a peep. But still he was there. And it feels like less of a treat when you are on a date and you still can't hold hands, because someone is holding a car seat.

To say I'm excited for a date with my husband and NO children is a huge understatement. I need this date. I don't know why we don't do it more. I know it is vital to a healthy relationship. But we slip into those reasons of not having a babysitter, or not wanting to spend the money, or the kids are too young, blah blah blah. It's just excuses. The truth is, we're not putting each other first enough.

Last week I was preparing for my Relief Society lesson and I found a marriage book Joe and I got before we were married. I have been reading it again. I was shocked when I got to Chapter 10 titled The Middle Years. "The middle years are largely occupied with learning to deal with careers, changes in financial status, the responsibilities of assuming larger roles in church and society, and the increasing demands of children." Check, check, check and check. I still think of Joe and I as "newlyweds." It's hard to believe we've been married ten years. But then I'm reminded of a move to medical school for 4 years, a move to residency for 5 years and a move to Kansas with 4 little babies born in the midst of all that, and I can't believe it's only been 10 years.

As I read through the chapters describing the "marital meltdown" that occurs between 30-50 year olds who have been married more than a decade, I was comforted knowing that Joe and I are not melting down. Thanks goodness. I already knew that, but it's nice being reminded. What struck me though was the phrase "neglect of the marriage." I'm afraid we have fallen a bit into neglecting our marriage. We stand by one another through all we can. We devote so much time and energy together to our children, work, church and our home that we have forgotten to find those meaningful, alone moments as spouses.

So tonight, I will be dusting off my heels and earrings and I will be going on a date with my good looking husband. It can't come soon enough. And the truth is, for once, I won't even miss my children. Is that bad?