The Future

I have been thinking a lot about our future. Maybe it's because we have another little baby on the way. Maybe it's friends moving. Maybe it's because I'm another year older. I'm not really sure, but it's been on my mind.

Here we are in Washington. We've been here three years and will be here another two. After that, we have no idea where we could go. We don't even get to make that decision. It's a little unsettling. Sometimes, I feel like the only person in the world that has no idea where her family will end up. I feel like everyone else is in "their" home. The one they'll raise their family in forever. The neighborhood they chose specifically for good schools and a nice community. The one where their children's friends now will be the same cute little group they'll spend weekend nights with in high school. I feel anxious that it will be years until we're in that situation.

You see, we're in the Army. Some of you may not know that. Joe was accepted to medical school in St. Louis before we met. After only two weeks of dating, he deferred (see here for more of that story). Shortly after we got married, he received (what was no longer valid) his statement from the bank regarding his student loans. It was big. And it was only for a year. And it was for a single guy. Not a married one. He panicked to say the least.

I knew Joe was very money conscious. Neither of us even owned credit cards. Debt frightened him. And I knew that. I just didn't know to what extent. Weeks went by and the stress of going hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt was really weighing on him. I can remember him waking me up in the middle of the night after not sleeping again, and telling me he'd been thinking that we should join the Army.

Ha!

That's what I thought. He had to be kidding me. Oh no. He was dead serious.

After a lot of convincing, I finally agreed to researching a little more about what the Army would entail. We talked to other doctors who had joined, read every fine print, talked with our families, prayed, and made a huge decision. We joined.

Then 9/11 happened and things changed a little. We knew Joe wouldn't get deployed during school or residency. That was reassuring. We still have 2 years before it's even a possibility.

Then Joe chose to specialize in Ear, Nose and Throat Surgery. The Army hardly ever deploys ENT doctors. Another plus. And after we finish residency, we owe the Army 4 years of work. Where will that be? Who the heck knows?

I worry that we may end up in Louisiana or Korea for several years. But then, it could be Germany or the east coast. I would love that!

We would have never ever chosen to live in St. Louis or Washington. But you know what? We loved St. Louis. I hold such a special place in my heart for that city. And Washington? It couldn't be a better match for us. We feel like this is where we are suppose to be.

At times like this, when I start to think too much about our future, I am just reminded that we're happy as a family And we're living an adventure. It's a blessing to be able to live in different cultures and environments. Joe and I love our lives. We're looking forward to the future. But happy to not wish the present away. I actually can't wait to see where we are sent to next. But truth be told, it doesn't matter if the place sucks or not. We'll be together as a family, and it will be one adventure that only we'll be able to experience. That's exciting.

And honestly, I have no idea where I would choose to live if I had to choose today. I'm glad the Army is taking care of that for us for a few more years...even if it does mean feeling a little unsettled. That's the exciting part.