Motherhood

A few weeks ago, our family was invited to a barbecue that someone from Joe's work invited us to. It was a family barbecue, but many couples opted to get a sitter for their children and come alone. When we showed up with four little ones, we looked like quite the crowd. Someone mentioned to Joe that they, too, were in the "four children club". I didn't realize there was a club. But the truth is, especially here in Kansas where there are few members (none of which were at this barbecue) having four children is somewhat of a rarity. Little do these club members know that we aren't even stopping at four. (Queue shocked expressions across Manhattan.)

Really, the feeling of having people look at us like we're crazy when we show up to a restaurant with the four children in tow doesn't even phase me. When I go to the pool or the summer movie at the theatre with the kids and strangers tell me I have my hands full, I just smile and carry on. It's simply my normal. I don't feel overwhelmed. Well, most days I don't. So those looks and comments just go right in one ear and out the other.

But what really gets my blood boiling is the assumption that because I have four children that I am somehow jipping them each of quality time and really "knowing" them because I am dividing my time between more children. It's just not that way. I guarantee that I love my children the same as any other good mother out there with fewer or even more children. I know each of them. They each know that I love them. They aren't starving for attention. In fact, they probably get too much attention, because not only are they getting my attention and their fathers attention, they have one another to give and get attention from. It's a beautiful thing.

I do make an effort to get one on one time with each of my children. Not because I feel like I have to or that I owe that to them, but because I love being with each of them individually too. And they eat that time up. Not because they've been deprived of that "quality" time, but because it makes them feel special, as it would any child regardless of the number of children in the family.

I know Gabs is fun and thoughtful. She's playful and outgoing. She's a leader. She's competitive but easily frustrated. I know Gwen is pokey at everything. She's independent and super confident. She's creative and sweet. She's a riot and sensitive all at the same time. Henry is my wild card. He's either totally obstinate and stubborn, or completely tender and loving. He's silly and busy. He whines and laughs, usually simultaneously. William is ea-sy. He's patient and happy. He's smiley and content. He is the polar opposite of high maintenance. He's a total breeze.

I know these things about my children because I am a good mother. Because I am present in their life. Each and every one of their lives. No matter how many more children we have, I will continue to know everything about my children. They will always feel special and loved. They will always be surrounded by one another and feel the love in our family. Because I am the mother. And that is what motherhood is all about. I love it.