Yesterday, Good. Today...

Crappy.

I made a plan to have a picnic with a few other moms after Gabriella's preschool. It was suppose to be nice, and we hadn't been to a park in, well, close to a year. So I packed lunch, threw a blanket in the car and set off to a great little park for little ones near by.

It really wasn't as warm as they said it would be. Figures. Not really surprised by that Washington forecast. But we stayed anyway and had a nice time chatting while the girls played. I took a survey of the park and stood near by while Gwen tested the waters on the stairs and slides. She went right to work climbing those stairs, and the slides were slow enough that she didn't shoot off the bottom onto the ground after her slides. So all was good.

The girls played and played. I heard talk of princesses and princes. Birds and sticks. There was something about needing to find flowers for a wedding. There was two hours of this. All the while my friends and I sat near by on a blanket enjoying the free babysitting the jungle gym was providing us with. Then, someone fell.

My Gwen. She fell flat on her back. From where? Oh, from clear up by the tallest slide where the opening was for those stupid fire poles that no kids small enough to play at that park could ever slide down. I didn't even see it happen. No one did. Just the sad little thump from a four foot fall rang in our ears. I ran and scooped her up. I was careful because she was laying so still. No blood, just a very sad little girl. It didn't take long to see that she was like a poor little bird with a broken wing.

We paged Joe and were off to meet him at the hospital in minutes. I had a feeling her arm was broken. She just left it limp at her side the entire time and sobbed when I picked her up from under her arms. It was the longest drive to the hospital. I remember Gabriella telling me that Daddy has bandaids and can make her arm feel all better. I was hoping so.

Joe met us in the parking lot and we went straight down to the ER. They took us right back and sent us over to Radiology. Joe did the parent in the X-ray room thing, I couldn't handle seeing her so sad. But after waiting outside the room and hearing her so sad, I think that was worse.

Yup, definitely a break. On her upper arm, just below the shoulder on her right arm. Not good. Thankfully, and I mean that considering the circumstances, but thankfully, it is a break that can heal itself without a cast. They put her in a little tiny bear sling, but that quickly looked like a purse slung across her shoulder. The thing was useless. They gave us some ace bandages to wrap it at night. After a dose of morphine we were able to go. Once she got a hit of that stuff she was flirting with the nurses she had just been crying at if they even looked at her. She was laughing at the crazy slurred words coming from her mouth. She was feeling pretty good.

Once we got home there was a lot more whimpering and "oow-wee's" when she was eating or trying to push up from the ground to stand up. She's pretty miserable. She's trying to sleep now, but I can't imagine it's going to be a pretty night for her. I hope I'll be able to help comfort her. They said the first several days will be rough, but in a week or so, she'll be feeling close to herself again. It just breaks my heart.

Joe kept telling me it's okay. That I can't be under my girls with my arms out ready to catch them every second. He said you just can't do that to kids. They need freedom to play. I know he's right. But man, do I feel like a pretty crappy mom.

Today was pretty crappy. Apparently I said it was crappy in the ER, because Gabriella reminded me, "We don't say crab mom. We don't say crab."

You're right Gabs, we don't say "crab." But today was still crappy.